Mother Agnes of Jesus Page III (Marie Pauline Martin)

As the days of July were coming to a close, so was Louis’s soul ascending closer to heaven. On July 28, 1894,
early in the morning, Louis breathes his last breath while he was staying at the Château of La Musse. Céline was
there to witness his ascent. Immediately, she sent a note to her sisters about their father’s death. On August 2,
1894, Louis’s funeral was held at the Cathedral of Saint-Pierre in Lisieux. His body was laid to rest at the local
cemetery. Afterwards, a memorial service was conducted at the Carmelite chapel reuniting the family once more.
Weeks later, the remains of Azélie and their belated children were brought to Lisieux and were laid to rest beside
Louis’s grave. The rest of the family was once again reunited.

In August of 1894, a prayer was written to honor the memory of their beloved father. It was titled: ‘Prayer of the
Child of a Saint’. Each part to the prayer represented each daughter that truly loved him and sought his spiritual
guidance before and after his death. A description of their father’s guidance in Pauline’s section, gives precise
insight into the bond between her and her father as it was written: “Remember thou thy beautiful ‘pure pearl’, the
timid lamb once to thy tendence given! Trusting in God, behold thy lovely girl. Guide Carmel’s flock along the
road to Heaven. Of thy beloved ones, “Mother” is she today: Then come guide even now thy darling on her way!
This Carmel of Thine own, Remember at Heaven’s throne. Remember thou!” (FL)

Céline entered the Carmelite monastery on September 14, 1894. Her sisters were pleased to greet her lovingly
once more. Unfortunately, Céline’s entrance was met with some opposition prior to her entering. But with the
intercession of prayers, on behalf of her sister Thérèse, things changed dramatically for the better, allowing her
entrance to commence.

One night during the month of January 1895, Marie, Pauline, Céline and Thérèse were warming up against the
fireplace before returning to their cells for the night. Thérèse was reminiscing with her sisters over their childhood
memories. When it was time for them to retire, Marie approached Pauline and suggested that Thérèse write
down all of her childhood memories. Pauline agreed with Marie and asked Thérèse to do so.

Pauline celebrated her thirty-fourth birthday on September 7, 1895. In honor of this event, Thérèse composed a
poem for her sister. Thérèse reflected back to the time of her childhood when Pauline took care of her and the
longing that both of them had to be “hermits in the desert”. It was Carmel that was to be their desert. In
Thérèse’s poem to Pauline, she told Pauline that if she died before her that she would in turn be Pauline’s angel as
Pauline was to her:

  “To My Dear Mother, the Fair Angel of My Childhood” (PL)

  Though so far from beautiful Heaven, my Homeland,
   I’m not alone on earth
  For in this life’s exile
  A fair Angel guides my steps.

  This fair Angel, O dear Mother!
  Sang by my cradle,
  And the sound of her melody
  Still seems so new.

  She sang of the charms of Jesus,
  She sang of the joy of a pure heart.
  Drying my tears with her wing,
  She sang of beautiful blue Heaven…

  O deep mystery! This fair Angel
  Called me her baby sister…
  She had a Mother’s features,
  And I would rest on her heart! …

  But alas! Instead of taking me to Heaven,
  One day the fair Angel,
  Seeking the Virgins’ procession,
  Took her flight to Carmel! …

  Ah! How I wanted to follow her
  To contemplate her virtues up close
  Like her, I wanted to live,
And like her, to unite myself to Jesus…

But without leaving the Heavenly Court,
  I’ll come down to this foreign shore,
Close by my Mother,
To take my turn as her angel…

Throughout her life Pauline cherished this beloved poem from her sister. She pulled it out from time to time and
reread it and reflected on the meaning of the words, especially when difficult obstacles were placed in her path. It
was a source of hope and inspiration for her to continue her exile on earth.

In January of 1896, Thérèse completed her notebook listing her childhood memories and handed it to Pauline for
her to review her manuscript. Unfortunately, Pauline was too preoccupied with the campaigning for a prioress as
well as governing the monastery. She was not able to read it until after the elections were held.

Leading up to the new elections of the prioress in March of 1896, Mother Marie de Gonzague campaigned among
her sisters for the position. The campaign was brought on by the dissatisfaction that Mother Marie had against
Pauline and her governing. She knew that she could not manipulate her as she thought she could as prioress.
Mother Marie purposely used every opportunity to undermine Pauline’s authority in front of the other sisters. This
was so that she could show the other sisters that she was the one best suited for the position. As Thérèse and
Sister Magellan sat and witnessed one of these episodes, Thérèse said to Sister Magellan: “I rejoice; the more I
see Mother Agnes suffer, the happier I am. You do not know the value of suffering. If you only knew the good it
does her soul.” (TH)

On March 21, 1896, the election for prioress was held. By one vote, Mother Marie de Gonzague was re-elected
prioress once again. Immediately, it was a devastating blow for Pauline and her sisters. However, Pauline used this
whole experience as an act of humility, adding one more pearl in her crown for Jesus.

After the elections were over, Pauline had the opportunity to read the manuscript that Thérèse wrote. Pauline was
astonished at how far Thérèse had advanced in her way of perfection. All that was taught to Thérèse by Pauline
had mirrored itself to her in the manuscript. Pauline later apologized to Thérèse for taking so long to review her
manuscript.

The Carmelite nuns of Lisieux established, in 1861, a monastery in Saigon, Vietnam. In August of 1896, the
Carmelite nuns of Saigon requested help for more nuns to come and join them. There was serious consideration
by the newly re-elected prioress; Mother Marie de Gonzague that Pauline would be one of the nuns sent to Saigon.
Weeks later, Céline and her cousin Marie Guérin were also added to the list for consideration. But as divine
intervention should have it, neither of the Martin sisters or their cousin was sent to Saigon.

On December 4, 1896, Thérèse wrote Pauline a small note expressing to her how much she loved her and
commending her on her valiant acts of humility. Thérèse would periodically study Pauline’s sacrifices during
several incidents, which were known to be discomforting. Thérèse took every opportunity to continue to learn
from Pauline through these incidents without ever having to say a word to each other. In another note, Thérèse
expressed words of encouragement to Pauline as she was enduring minor difficulties in her job as Depositrix.
Pauline took on the responsibilities for taking care of the administration part of the monastery. Thérèse reminded
her that all that she endures is for Jesus and after her exile here on earth is over, Jesus has created a special place
for her in Heaven. He, in turn, will return the sacrifices she made for Him and administer to her needs.

In a letter, dated January 9, 1897, Thérèse wrote to remind Pauline of how blessed she was to have a sister like
her. Thérèse emphasized how much Pauline had given of herself to meet her needs both as a child and as an
adult. Thérèse felt she was not able to repay her in full for all that she had done in this life, but promised Pauline
that in Heaven she would give back double of what she received from her here on earth. Thérèse saw Pauline’s
way, of remaining hidden, similar to that of Jesus when He lived His life here on earth. She again thanked Pauline
for being the one chosen in their family to guide her sisters out from the darkness of the earth and into the light of
heaven.

Several months prior to Thérèse’s January 9th letter, she had already seen the first signs of her impending death
after she had coughed up blood while she was in her cell in April of 1896. But Pauline was never told of this event,
which was kept hidden from her by both Thérèse and Mother Marie de Gonzague. Thérèse, knowing that
tuberculosis was a fatal disease, made several indirect attempts through her notes to prepare Pauline for her
impending death. Thérèse did not want Pauline to know because she did not want her to worry about it because
Pauline, herself, was physically suffering off and on during this same period.

On January 21, 1897, in honor of Pauline’s feast day, Thérèse wrote a poem titled: “My Joy”. In her poem to
Pauline, she described parts of the ‘Little Way’ to her. She gave several examples of her life, which ‘her "joy"
could not escape her. One example was when people search for joy in all things material to fill their hearts, the
opposite occurs for her because joy cannot escape her when it’s always treasured in her heart. When suffering
has taken root in her soul, she accepted it even though she may have been crying over it. When her joy may seem
that it is abandoned in her soul, she hides herself and uses humility as her defense. Her joy is to be little in all things
so that when there were times that she failed it would not be far for her to get up again. During her struggles, her
joy is to lead more people to God.

In a note, dated on March 19, 1897, Thérèse knew that Jesus had proven his love to Pauline several times before
in her life. However, Thérèse knew that she had not been able to always show her that same love. So, she
reminded Pauline yet again of how much she loved her. Thérèse told her she would give proof of that same love
that Pauline showed her and which Jesus willed for her through testimonies from other people around the world
after her death.

During the second week of May, Pauline wrote Thérèse a short note to simply ask her for an opportunity to speak
with her. Thérèse had been showing signs of her illness to everyone but the severity of her illness was not to the
extent that indicated to Pauline that she was suffering from tuberculosis. Pauline started to worry about her
because Thérèse had been keeping her distance from her sister. Pauline asked her instead of taking your walks,
“Why don’t you spend a little time talking to me?” But unknown to Pauline, Thérèse was using this time to walk
with missionaries. Even though it was difficult for Thérèse to walk without suffering, she used her suffering as a
means of sacrifice for those missionaries who themselves were suffering.

Pauline witnessed Thérèse become irritated with another sister when she was asked to help her paint a statue,
earlier in the morning of May 28th. When Thérèse looked at Pauline she understood immediately that the way she
acted was wrong. Pauline did not have to say anything to her about it, however, later Thérèse sent her a small
note apologizing for her actions concerning the incident. She revealed to Pauline that she has always been “the
angel charged to guide me and announce the Lord’s mercies to me.” (CL)

By the 30th of May the time had come where the severity of Thérèse’s illness could no longer be hidden. Pauline
was worried because Thérèse’s health was declining at a fast rate. She approached Thérèse and found out
discreetly from her that she had coughed up blood in April of last year. Pauline realized then that she was severely
ill. Pauline was not aware that it was tuberculosis that was going to take her sister’s life. Pauline was hurt by
realization that Thérèse was going to die! She was devastated by the news. She could not understand why
Thérèse never told her. Thérèse was never given permission from Mother Marie de Gonzague to tell her herself.
Thérèse tried to comfort Pauline by saying: “Please do not be sad that my illness was hidden from you. For you
still know all that possesses in my soul. Will you not be pleased that God will see all that you yourself cultivated in
my soul? I know God will see firsthand the power of your love for Him through me forever in Heaven.”

In a note written on May 30th,Thérèse again tried to comfort Pauline by stating; “That when I leave this earth and
reach Heaven, I will still be at your side because your soul will ascend to mine in Heaven. You are the angel that
Jesus sent before me to prepare the way for me, the way that leads to Heaven, the elevator to raise me without
fatigue to the infinite regions of love.” (CL) There are no words in any language on this earth that can be expressed
to show you the love that I have for you and the thankfulness that I possess in my heart for all that you have done
for me.

That same day, Pauline responded to Thérèse’s note. She asked Thérèse to ask God to give her the graces that
she, herself, possessed in letting her go. Even though, “I will shed many tears of your absence here on earth,
happiness will possess at the bottom of my heart knowing that you have reached Heaven. My "white dove" God is
calling you back to our Homeland. He must not be deprived of His beloved child’s companionship any longer. For
His glory in receiving you, “I am willing to suffer on this earth as long as God wills, I am willing to mourn in my
turn like a plaintive dove exiled in this valley of tears.” (LCM) I am blessed that you will be in the presence of God
before me, for you will “prepare a place for me and make me into a saint from up above.” (LCM)

After Thérèse received Pauline’s response, Thérèse wrote her a second note on the same day. Thérèse desired
only to be a blessing to Pauline and not a burden. She did not want Pauline to worry about her at all. She apologized
to Pauline for keeping her illness hidden. As far as Thérèse could remember, there was nothing else that she had
hidden from her. Thérèse asked Pauline that after her death please do not believe anything that will be said about
her and her illness, which would contradict what she has said to her now.

After a brief conversation on June 2, 1897, Mother Marie de Gonzague gave Pauline permission to stay with
Thérèse at night in her cell. Pauline also suggested to Mother Marie to have Thérèse to write the second
manuscript about her life as a Carmelite nun so that they would have something for her obituary letter after her
death. The same day, Pauline approached Thérèse and told her that she was not allowed to die. Pauline’s heart
was still pierced by the fact that she was severely ill. Thérèse explained to Pauline that it's not that she wanted to
leave her "little mother" but it was God who was calling her home.

Pauline started writing down all of her conversations with Thérèse in her yellow notebook. In her notebook, she
added in the months of April and May from previous conversations that both of them had before she started to
stay with Thérèse. It was an effort on Pauline’s part to record and cherish later the beautiful memories she had of
her sister. There was also a need to relay the same information to her sister Léonie, who already left the Visitation
monastery, as well as her uncle and aunt which all of them were very concern for her health. During this period of
time, Léonie had gone with her uncle and aunt on vacation so they were not able to see any of them in person.

On June 4, 1897, Thérèse started to write her second manuscript. But the first week of June was very traumatic
for Thérèse because her health depleted rapidly. Pauline was upset and felt guilty for having her start her second
manuscript. But on the contrary, she was joyous at knowing the second half of her life would be written. Pauline
stated to her: “I shall be your herald; I shall proclaim your deeds of valor; I shall try to make the world love and
serve God by all the lights He has given you, lights that never go out.” (LCM) After all that I will do for you, will I
be blessed by you for it? Will your angel dust fall upon me from your wings in Heaven? Your presence will be
needed everywhere in my life after your death. When I woke up this morning, Thérèse's attitude towards your
impending death is changing. God spoke to me: “Your little sister has been praying for you. Thérèse, that is the
secret of where I get my strength. So, I thank you and press you close to my heart.” (LCM) My ‘little mother’, the
one that I love so much, the one who laid out for me the preparations for my First Holy Communion when I was
but a child now my "little mother" I ask you to prepare me for my journey to our homeland.

Even though, Pauline’s attitude towards Thérèse’s illness was changing, she sought out the protection of Our
Lady of Victories. A novena of masses was said in Thérèse’s name for a cure of her illness. But on the 9th of
June, Thérèse felt otherwise, 'Our Lady', the one who cured me once when I was a child is not going to cure me
again in the same way. The only consoling 'Our Lady' will give is that to Pauline, who grieves more of my future
passing than I. On the 14th of June when the novena ended, Thérèse’s condition improved slightly. Pauline also
took it upon herself to seek out other medicinal remedies from her uncle Isidore as well as from her cousin Dr. La
Neele. It pained Pauline so much to see her sister receive a vesicatory, she cried more at seeing her sister receiving
it than Thérèse herself. After Pauline had escorted Thérèse back to her cell, she knelt down beside her and asked
her for her forgiveness for causing her to suffer more for not being able to receive the Holy Eucharist. But
Thérèse turned and looked at her and in a soft voice and said there is not much for me to suffer in receiving the
Holy Eucharist.

As a loving gesture towards consoling her sisters Marie, Pauline, Léonie and Céline, Thérèse gave them a
picture with a poem. In the poem, she described to them her future journey home to be with Jesus forever. The
most important thing she told her sisters is that they should always remember the importance of Love above all
other things. She also reiterated to them her unending commitment to loving and serving Jesus fully. She was at
peace.

Late in the evening, on June 15, 1897, Pauline sat down beside Thérèse and asked her: "Will I be forgotten by you
when you have reached heaven?" But on the contrary, responded Thérèse, I will never forget you. Then, she
looked at Pauline and recited a verse from John 14:3 “And if I shall go, and prepare a place for you. I will come
again, and will take you to myself; that where I am, you also may be.” (B)

Pauline had painted miniature pictures of Our Lady holding the baby Jesus
for the prioress, Mother Marie de Gonzague, on her feast day. She took
them over to show Thérèse, on the 20th of June, before she gave them to
Mother Marie as a present. Lovingly, Thérèse gazed over the pictures and
placed each one of her fingers on each of the heads of the baby Jesus’s.
She looked at Pauline and said: “I am holding them all under my dominion.” (LC)

Pauline had finished her duties for the day and went to Thérèse’s cell to
check up on her, on the 3rd of July. During their conversation the topic of
her death was being discussed. Pauline relayed to her the Carmelite tradition
of placing a palm in the deceased nun’s hand while she lay in her coffin.
But Thérèse looked at her lovingly and stated, “I will at times release the
palm from my hands so that I can be at your side whenever you are in need of
graces.”

Several days later, Thérèse’s deteriorated physical condition was becoming
more evident when she started to vomit blood again. Pauline, at the mercy of
Our Lady, prayed before her statue asking for Thérèse’s vomiting of
blood to stop. She held a vigil in her honor and lit a candle. By the end of the
day, Thérèse’s vomiting had stopped for the rest of the night.                                           Carmel de Lisieux

Thérèse was moved down from her cell into the infirmary permanently on July 8th. There was great
consideration over the thought of giving her the Last Rites. Pauline sat beside her bed in the infirmary as she tried
to console Thérèse. Thérèse’s eyes glossed over with tears because she felt overwhelmed by the care given to
her by Pauline. She reflected back to the memories of when she was a child and now in a frail state of health as an
adult. She said to Pauline, “You have always taken care of me very well throughout my entire life. When I enter
heaven, I will take the opportunity to give back the graces that you have showered upon me while we have been
here in exile. Not only will I return all of the graces that you yourself have given me but I will multiply them
beyond measure.”

Pauline was always in the habit of looking up at the window of Thérèse’s cell when she passed through the
courtyard. It was always Pauline’s way of keeping an eye on her. After Thérèse was moved to the infirmary, it
became more evident to Pauline that she would not be returning back to her cell. Pauline remarked to
Thérèse :“Now when I look up at the window of your cell, it will be very painful for me to see it because I know
you will no longer be there.” Thérèse responded back to Pauline and said, “Every time you look up at the window
of my cell, it will remind you that I am very happy in Heaven, even though there will be many memories which
will surface in your heart of the place where I fought so many battles against my illness.” Pauline has been there
to comfort her through her illness, filling her last days with nothing but pure love.

On the 14th of July, the doctor came and visited Thérèse. The doctor told Pauline that she seemed to be getting
better and she might be able to conquer her illness. However, Thérèse thought otherwise. She knew that God
was calling her home to Heaven. Thérèse wanted her illness to end soon so that she could spare Pauline and her
sisters any more grief over her suffering. She looked up at Pauline and expressed to her how much she loved her.
You will know how much I love you soon, real soon.

Thérèse had responded to Father Bellière’s letter on July 18th. In her letter, she tried to comfort him over her
impending death. Previously, she had asked him to pray for Pauline so that she would view her impending death
not with great bitterness but as a blessing. Both Father Bellière and Pauline were greeting Thérèse’s death as a
great loss. But Thérèse’s prayers were slowly being answered; Pauline’s attitude towards her arrival in Heaven
was going to be met with celebration. Pauline was realizing that even though she would lose her sister here on
earth, she would always be with her in Heaven. Thérèse asked Father Bellière to continue to pray for Pauline that
both of them will seek consolation in her passing. Please pray for my intentions because I love my sister Pauline
“even more because she is Jesus visibly present to me.” (CL)

On July 21st, Pauline went to the infirmary to see how her sister was doing and she would always do little things
to comfort her. Each day, Thérèse looked forward to seeing Pauline and commented to her what it really meant
to her that she was there. When she appeared before her each day her spirit was filled with great joy. Thérèse
knew she did not have to spend a lot of her time giving to Pauline for she was the one that always gave so much
to her.

The anguish of seeing Thérèse suffer added to the physical suffering Pauline was already facing. On July 27th,
Thérèse, seeing evidence of this when Pauline entered the infirmary commented to her on her ill health. Thérèse
reversed her role of a patient and insisted to Pauline that she not forget to take her medication that was prescribed
to her by the doctor.

The spiritual union between Pauline and Thérèse was very strong. They had that special bond between the both
of them. Without having to say a word to each other, everything was revealed in their souls. On the 27th of July,
when Pauline arrived in the infirmary to check up on Thérèse, she remarked to Pauline about their strong spiritual
bond. She said: “Little mother is my telephone; I have only to cock my ear when she comes, and I know
everything.” (LC)

Thérèse leaned forward in her bed and took the fan that was given to her by one of her Carmelite sisters from
Saigon on July 30th. As her sisters Marie, Pauline, and Céline were sitting at her bedside, Thérèse took the fan
and started to fan them instead. She looked at them lovingly while she was fanning them and said: “I am fanning
the saints instead of myself; I am fanning you to do you some good because you are saints!” (LC)

On August 1st, Pauline brought in Thérèse’s manuscript for her to review it. Thérèse reread it and was
overwhelmed with emotion by what she had written. Thérèse then turned to Pauline and gave her a warning. She
told Pauline: “Please do not let anyone know that I have written this manuscript until after it has been published but
with the exception of Mother Marie de Gonzague. “Little mother”, if you were to tell anyone about this manuscript,
the devil will place several obstacles in your path and your ability to have it published will be extremely difficult.”
Little did Pauline know at this time what lay ahead of her in the future in regards to Thérèse’s manuscript.

Pauline came into the infirmary on the 5th of August to comfort Thérèse and see how she was coping with her
illness. During their conversation, Pauline had confided in her over a certain incident that she was suffering from.
Thérèse looked at her and told her that as a mother, the one who is a representative of Christ to her sisters should
not let anyone know that she, too, is suffering. It is more comforting to a sister when she is able to confide in her
mother the sufferings that she is facing without her mother comparing her own sufferings to the sister that is
confiding in her. Thus, echoing to Pauline what she had already taught her during her childhood.

At times when Thérèse was suffering enormously, whether it was vomiting blood or when she was choking,
Pauline would pray reverently to Our Lady and ask her to relieve her sister’s dire symptoms. Thérèse, on the
other hand, asked her not to bother asking Our Lady to relieve her symptoms. On the 17th of August, Thérèse
made reference to this to her sister Céline. In a joking manner, Thérèse said to Céline, after Pauline earlier had
told her she was going to pray for her said: “She (Pauline) prayed to Mary, and I am no longer hiccupping.” (LC)

Thérèse’s condition continued to worsen in September. Upon the anniversary of her profession and a few days
afterwards, the symptoms of her tuberculosis hid themselves very well. The doctors were somewhat baffled by
this after they came in and examined her. On September 11th, Pauline came in to see how she was doing. As
Pauline sat at her bedside speaking to her, Thérèse made a prophetic announcement to Pauline. Out of all of the
sisters, Marie, Léonie, and Céline, Pauline was to be the last of the sisters to leave this earth and enter the
kingdom of Heaven. It would not be her time until Pauline was to complete the work that Thérèse was to bring
forth to her from Heaven. Unless of course, there are those souls that are in need of her guidance after which time
God will send for her. It was true out of all of Thérèse’s sisters, Pauline lived the longest in age but Céline on the
other hand would be the last sister to reach the gates of Heaven eight years after Pauline.

Written by: R. Hann

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